I’m awkward.

HI :3

I am an awkward human being. There are many reasons why that’s the case but I guess it’s not really obvious in my writing. On my posts, I try my best to double/ triple/ multiple… (you get the idea) check that everything is A-Okay before I post it (except for that one time…). Anyway, I think this comes from me being a slight perfectionist and  I hate having embarrassing moments where I’m like: “What. Did. I. Just. Do.” Unfortunately, there’s no way to edit your daily actions IRL before you do them because… well… you just do them in one go. Thus, I get a lot of those “What did I just do” moments which give me a cringe attack later on.

So I’m just going to share a little story now to demonstrate this. I was about to call up an office to ask a few questions. I had them prepared on a piece of paper and I was nervously waiting on the other end for the call to be picked up. It started, the conversation happened quite quickly and much shorter than I thought and this is where it went downhill. I was about to end the call when I said: “Thank you for ask- answering my questions.” Wow. Just. I nearly said: “Thank you for asking my questions”?! I can’t… How do you screw something so simple up???

*face palm* *face desk* *face wall* *muffled screams*

Thankfully, I managed to think quick on my feet and muffled my voice just a bit when it came to saying “ask” and I quickly changed it to “answer” since I pronounce the beginning of those words in the same way. It was also a phone call so there was no eye contact. However, I think the person knew what happened because I could hear some sort of muffled laughter. Now, I’m not going to dwell on “what you should do to help someone in an awkward situation” (although that could be another post so tell me if I should do something like that) because honestly, I may have laughed a little myself if I was on the opposite end of the conversation so I didn’t mind. Just the fact that I made such a stupid and simple mistake in front of a complete stranger just makes me want to claw my face off. Well, not really but you get the picture.

And here’s the continuation. I was so immersed in my previous awkwardness that I didn’t think to say: “sorry, I forgot to ask one more thing”. Now, I have to go through the same thing again. Great.

I know that this may not seem like much compared to other similar situations but you see…

After my moments of awkwardness, I get cringe attacks. Unlike most people who may flinch and act weirdly in random ways while they’re experiencing this, I start shouting things. Things as in: song lyrics, bad words, random phrases, people’s names, etc. What makes this even worse and weirder is the fact that I’m a generally quiet person who will not speak up unless I absolutely have to. So, when I suddenly raise my voice saying seemingly nonsense stuff and people stare… that in itself is another awkward moment. It’s like a package deal: I gotta be embarrassed twice ‘cuz that’s my life.

I think the reason why I do raise my voice when having a cringe attack is because I’m trying to drown out my thoughts or trying to distract myself from thinking about it further. It’s like that moment when your sibling is about to reveal something embarrassing about you to your parents and you go: “So! What are we having for dinner tonight?” in an attempt to change the course of the conversation while giving them the evil side look.

And that’s some of the reasons why I’m awkward! Please comment below if you want to share some of your awkward stories so that I know I’m not alone in the battle against awkwardness. Thank you for reading! You guys are awk- I mean, awesome!

~little Purple.Mage

Life Inspiration and Lessons: Glamour Girl- Carly Fleischmann

HI :3

So I just watched an episode of “YouTubers’ React to Carly Fleischman – Speechless YouTube Channel” and I was astounded, amazed and mind blown by what I witnessed.

Carly has autism and for the first 11 years of her life, she wasn’t able to communicate with anyone because she isn’t able to speak a word due to her oral motor apraxia. However when she turned 11, she was able to type on a laptop: ‘HURT’ and ‘HELP’. This was apparently the revelation to her parents that there was, and still is actually, a lot going on inside her that she just isn’t able to share easily with others because she cannot talk. It turns out, she is actually a very intelligent, witty and funny human being.

With the use of her typing skills and laptop, she started her own blog, Twitter and now, she even has her own YouTube channel which I mentioned above. In that channel, she has currently 3 videos and one of them features an interview with Channing Tatum. And, oh my goodness you guys, she made me laugh for the entire video. Carly was being spontaneous, engaging, hilarious and witty; all while also being scared because she was interviewing her celebrity crush. She also mentioned her dream of becoming a talk show host and in all honesty, she should be. She should keep following this dream and achieve it because she can. She can do it and she is doing it and that’s why she is such an inspiration to me.

Another video on her channel is a song called ‘Glamour Girl‘. She collaborated with Kaitlin Kozell, a girl who was bullied before and now faces challenges due to low self esteem, and Lil Jaxe, a boy with speech impediment yet is a very fluid rapper and has earned worldwide attention for it. All three of them brought out this song with a very strong message. This song brings everyone the message of “it doesn’t matter what your challenges are as long as you’re ready to try to overcome them”. This song is… inspiring. This song brought me to tears by how sincere, sweet and fascinating it is. This song resonated within my heart and soul and made the dams in my eyes break. This song spoke to the depths of my heart and mind and said: ‘Don’t ever give up because there will always be a brighter future which you can make yours. Even though it’s a struggle with other people around you discouraging you or there are outside forces pushing you back, it’s okay because you can still make it.’ 

Honestly, all three of them are just such huge inspirations to me. I wrote this to help spread awareness of all of these brilliant messages and one more: to never judge anyone and truly get to know and understand them first. You never know what path they’ve walked, what their obstacle course in life is and what they’ve done to get where they are now. People shouldn’t be categorised immediately based on their physical appearance or how they live. For example, Carly was labelled as “mentally retarded” because she couldn’t speak but in reality, she is a very intellectual person who is able to make deep insights and is just unable to say what she wants to say. However, she didn’t let this deter her from moving forward to where she wants to go… and look at where she is now.

These three young people are representatives of these messages and I know that there must be so many more people out there who are in similar standings. And I want to try my best to be a representative of these messages by living by them. I sincerely hope that these messages spread to as many people as possible because we need more people like this. That’s why I humbly request you through this post, to try your best to also keep these messages in your heart and mind and live by them to let your actions speak to others and influence them.

I’m including links to their websites/ social media so that you can also show them support and, as Carly puts it, go “right to the horse’s mouth” in order to hear what they have to say. I don’t think- no, I know- I cannot express what they went through in my own words nor do I have the right to. However, I still want to write this post to share my thoughts and feelings about this serious matter because of how inspired I am.

Links:

Carly Fleischmann:

• Twitter
• Speechless with Carly Fleischmann
• Carly’s Voice | Changing the World of Autism
• YouTube

Kaitlin Kozell:

• YouTube
• Twitter

Lil Jaxe:

• YouTube
• Facebook

I’m also going to include some links to websites of autism and oral motor apraxia if you want to know more about them:

• Childhood Apraxia of Speech
• Apraxia – Kids
• Autism Speaks
• Autism- Kid’s Health

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post. I hope that you are inspired by what these three have accomplished and what they are still doing and I hope you push forward in the journey of your life.

~little Purple.Mage

 

 

 

The Respect Award

HI :3

I was nominated for this award by Sav which is really heartwarming for me since it’s awesome to know that people respect me. A shout out to the King of Savagery: thank you soooo much for nominating me! Even though I can’t nominate you for this award anymore, just know that I have huge amount of respect for you!

The two rules to this award are:

1. Paste the award picture in your post
2. Answer the questions

What is respect and what does it mean to you?

Off the top of my head, I can say that respect is what you have for someone or something when you regard them in a certain way. It’s something that one has for everyone at the simplest level (explained later) but it can also be something that you earn from or give to others.

To explain what I said earlier: it’s something that all human beings should have a right to in the simplest way – a right to have our lives respected. We shouldn’t have to fight to have our basic living needs (i.e. food, water, shelter, etc.), our rights and our certain wills respected. I say “certain wills” because… that can be a very sensitive subject to cross. Some wills are reasonable, such as the will to live freely without discrimination should be respected, but the word “reasonable” reaches different boundaries for each individual so I’m going to leave it as that. I’m just going to focus on respect for this post.

Who do you respect the most?

As I mentioned previously, I respect everyone’s lives to a certain extent but having to pick one that I respect the most is difficult. I don’t think I’ll be able to give a definite answer to this question because there’s a lot for me to write down. What I am going to say is, the people I have a high amount of respect for are those that have worked for good, don’t brag about it and are succeeding.

I also think that it’s very important to have a lot of respect for yourself. Many people, myself included, have degraded themselves due to one reason or another. However, as I’ve been reminded recently, we are human and not perfect. I know that my description of people whom I highly respect sounds pretty perfect but the thing is, that’s just a summary. There’s so much more going on behind the scenes which we don’t know about so we can’t say that they are perfect. Admitting that you’re not perfect, accepting it and still finding ways to get up and move forward is something I’m still learning but I highly respect.

Which bloggers have earned your respect?

The first two have already been nominated but are still definitely worth mentioning:

1. The Cereal Squad – I’ve seen these guys during bad times and yet they still manage to keep going. That’s the reason why I respect them. They’re all really strong in their own way – whether it be because of their talents or their outlook in life – they have earned my respect because of it.
2. Elm – I love how she’s very welcoming and friendly to everyone in the blogosphere. Her posts are incredible and show how unique and amazing she is. She’s also really supportive to others and never fails to make me smile with her posts. So, I really respect you for being the person you are.
3. Bella – She’s someone I respect because of how kind and sweet she comes of in all of her posts and comments. I also greatly respect how sincere she is in all her writing and I’ve related to them way more than I can count.
4. Row – I love reading her blog since it’s one of the few that have anime/ gaming related posts and I respect her for being able to still write awesome posts consistently despite having a lot of other stuff to do.
5. KTWritings – From the first time she commented on my post, I knew that she was a really friendly and kind person. She’s also fearless in her posts and writings which is something I greatly respect!

I feel like this is one of those posts I’ve thought very deeply about and for me, that’s actually a good thing. There are so many more people out there that deserve to know that they are respected. I hope that you let the people you respect a lot know that and thank you for reading this post!

~little Purple.Mage

Poison

HI :3

What I’m going to be talking about can be a sensitive issue. While going about my day, I remembered a quote from Pinterest: “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. It’s something that struck a chord in me because of how simple yet completely relatable it is. Holding grudges or holding onto anger can be because of several things but in the end, you’re only hurting yourself.

I apologize for the weird placement of the signature. Just ignore that cuz I’m bad at editing photos xD

Personally, I actually can’t hold a grudge or stay angry no matter how hard I try. The main reason being: it’s just too tiring. Yep, I’m literally too lazy to hold a grudge. The thing is, I’m the kind of person that cannot rest easy if something is bothering me. Holding a grudge or being angry definitely fit into this category. If I have those kind of thoughts or feelings inside me, I will do everything I can to solve it just to get it out of me. Otherwise, I’m just going to keep thinking about it all day, everyday. I’ll ponder about it when I’m cooking, writing, playing games and I might even dream about it.So you see, this gets in the way of my daily life so I take longer to do my task and thinking about it requires energy. So, I just solve it as soon as I can.

Now you may ask, “But Purple, doesn’t it also require energy to think about solutions to getting rid of the nasty thoughts? But Purple, what if you’ve been thinking all day to find solutions that it tires you out as well?” Well, listen up little mages: I like problem solving. No lie. I like finding solutions to problems. I like putting myself up to the challenge of saying Sayonara to the stupid thoughts and feelings inside of me.

**Before I continue on to the next paragraph, I’m just going to clarify that “holding a grudge” or “staying angry” is worded as “problem” (just so I don’t have to keep writing the actual phrase). Okay, carry on:**

And, being the nerd I am, here’s something I learned in Math that applies to the real life: there can be three types of answers to any problem: definite, indeterminate or none at all. If the problem has a definite answer, then you just have to keep working until you get to the correct one. This isn’t tiring for me since I see it as using my energy wisely. If the problem has either an indeterminate answer or none at all, well, you just need to learn to leave it like that. This doesn’t bother me anymore because I know the problem is not within me or it’s just out of my power to fix or it’s just naturally like that. Thus, there’s really no negativity inside me so I’m not bothered by anything. BAM! Math is useful.

Now, I know that others don’t necessarily share the same thought process as I do. And that’s okay. You can solve your problems in your own pace and whatever way you want. All I’m really going to ask of you is this: please don’t stay angry or hold grudges. As Dan-Senpai (danisnotonfire) said: “you need to do everything in your power to be happy”. You can’t really do that if you’re drinking poison.

Thank you for reading, you guys are awesome!

~little Purple.Mage

My thoughts on Nintendo and Pokemon Go

HI :3

As many of you know, I am a big Pokemon fan so it’s quite a disappointment to me that I’m unable to download the new app: Pokemon Go since it’s only available in the US, Australian and New Zealand App stores. However, it’s hard to miss the release of this new game because it’s been widely anticipated for quite some time now. Today, I’d like to discuss my thoughts on Pokemon Go and some of Nintendo’s decisions to join the mobile game industry.

**DISCLAIMER: These are my thoughts and opinions on these topics. They are solely based on what I have read, seen or watched. Feel free to discuss or even dispute them if you want. That way, I can view different perspectives on it.**

(Pokemon, 2016)

First of all, I’d like to state what I think are the main pros and cons of this app for the user. Pokemon Go encourages its users to go outside and travel to different areas to catch new Pokemon and meet new trainers. I think that this is a great way to get some fresh air, exercise and to socialize. Whether it’s a simple nod, starting up a small conversation or becoming friends due to the app, it really is a great way to meet new people since it’s easy to talk to them based on the shared interest of Pokemon. However, I have also seen many memes which talk about going into a forbidden/ restricted area just for the sake of catching Pokemon. While these may be just jokes for now, there could be some real instances of it. I think people still need to be aware of what’s going on in their surroundings and that can be hard if you’re trying to desperately catch a rare Pokemon or participating in a heated battle. This is a simple yet needed safety measure that people should be aware of lest they risk their lives or someone else’s.

To counter my last point, there’s also a new accessory called: Pokemon GO Plus. It’s like a wristband that vibrates when something happens in-game and connects to the device via Bluetooth. I think this is a good way to keep players connected to the game while not constantly looking at it. The bad side? You need to buy it (unlike the app, which itself is free).

Those are the summaries of the game’s pros and cons for me. Another point that I want to talk about is the choosing of factions once the player reaches level 5. So for those of you who aren’t aware, there’s: Team Valor (Red), Team Instinct (Yellow) and Team Mystic (Blue). I’ve watched YouTube videos where people talk about meeting fellow faction members and having fun. For example, one guy and his friend spent 3 hours in town to look for Pokemon and made eye contact with another player. She nodded and said “Blue” and they nodded back and said “Blue”. Then they just high- fived each other and went about their own journeys. It’s simple stories like these which I live for because they’re so ordinary yet it’s fun to experience or listen to. It’s also an example of how the app brings people together. However, I have seen a few stories about (passive aggressive) rivalry between the teams which are also equally fun to read.

A concern I do have for the game is how it affects the phone’s battery. I know that the app needs to be kept running in the background while the player travels so that notifications will be sent about finding Pokemon, etc. However, this could be really draining on the phone’s battery – I know that Apple and Android phones run out of juice pretty quickly so the game actually installed a Battery Saver feature. There’s apparently a certain way the phone has to be kept (upside down so the screen will darken) for it to be effective (8 Things Pokemon Go Doesn’t Tell You, 2016). The thing is, not many people know about this so it may disadvantage them.

Okay, now shifting my focus to Nintendo’s decision- this also counts as my opinions on how the game affects the company. The news is that the app’s release has actually increased the shares of Nintendo (Kim and Yamazaki, 2016). This is considered a good thing especially after the lesser known release of Miitomo back in March. That launch wasn’t as popular as Pokemon Go’s launch so things are working better for Nintendo now. I’m personally looking forward to downloading the game and to any more releases from the company. 

I think that’s enough talk about this today. It feels great to talk about something I’m passionate about and not have to write about just anything. Thank you for reading, you guys are awesome!

~little Purple.Mage

 

References:

• 8 Things Pokemon Go Doesn’t Tell You. (2016). YouTube: IGN.
• Kim, C. and Yamazaki, M. (2016). Nintendo shares soar as new Pokemon mobile game captures hearts. Reuters. [online] Available at: http://www.reuters.com/article/us-nintendo-stocks-idUSKCN0ZO059 [Accessed 11 Jul. 2016].
• Pokemon, (2016). Pokemon GO. [image] Available at: http://www.pokemon.com/us/pokemon-video-games/pokemon-go/ [Accessed 11 Jul. 2016].

Life Update

HI :3

It’s been so long since I posted something and I really meese you guys! This post is just gonna be a general life update on what I’ve been doing this past week. Firstly, I was able to sort out most of the stuff I needed to focus on (which is why I took the break anyway.) Thank you for your patience and understanding through this time!

I also cut my hair so now its just a bit past my shoulders when before it used to go near my stomach. I kinda felt like Mulan when I was cutting it off but I really liked how it turned out altogether! To be honest, I don’t really like having long hair- I only grew it out for graduation and prom but now that those are out of the way, I finally cut it. Also, it’s suuper hot where I am so honestly long hair is just such a pain.

What else… oh yeah, I’ve been going out with some friends for the last time to say goodbye. It’s funny because on the actual days we say goodbye, I don’t feel sad or cry then it’s only after a few days does it start hitting me. That’s when I started crying because I have this (weird? Irrational?) fear that my friends will forget about me after some time. However, I talked to my best friend about it and he helped to calm me down and I also talked to Jay about it and she gave really solid advice. Thanks Jay!!

Speaking of, the past week have been really a-meese-ing thanks to the goodle and glamarous Cereal Squad! Shout out to them for making me smile and laugh 😀 I’m also really excited for that song we’re doing – it’s amazing how you guys just went with it as soon as we came up with the idea. I hope the Cereal Squad will stay cereasly glamarous, goodle and ameesing!

The past couple of days, I spent time with one of my friends and slept over at my other best friend’s house. Since I don’t get to see them as often anymore, it was such a great feeling to just hang out with them, eating, playing video games, watching YouTube vids and movies. We also had an awesome time in her dinner party, because OMG, the food was amazing!! I’m also not gonna see them for who- knows- how long so I’m really treasuring every minute I spend with them and making sure it counts.

My SD card also crashed…. RIP to all my music, apps and other files that were on there. At least my photos are backed up. REMINDER: back up all your files regularly – it will save you from painful hours of panic and trying to get all your stuff back.

On a final note, get ready for some awesome posts I’ve planned to put up since I was gone for quite awhile. Thank you guys for reading this, you’re awesome!

~little Purple.Mage

My realization.

Hi.

These past few days, I haven’t been really feeling great. I was procrastinating to no end and I just wasn’t getting much work done. I kept putting off stuff I had to do for my uni applications and, aside from doing regular house chores, I was just eating, sleeping, playing and watching- yeah, not exactly a healthy image. I’m guessing I’m just trying to make up for the amount of rest I didn’t have this past school year but in all honesty, I didn’t like – no, in fact I detested- what I was doing to myself.

In terms of applying to uni, for the past few months I have been stressing whether or not I would be able to actually get in. I’ve now been blessed by this amazing opportunity of attending uni yet it takes a great amount of effort from me to do all the stuff I need to do without complaining or putting it off. I was being an ungrateful and whiny child. I was, well I guess I still am in some aspects, scared of growing up. Although some stuff excites me, I’m just scared of making mistakes in my application processes, saying the wrong things when making appointments- I’m also a bit of a perfectionist so that really doesn’t help me in these cases. Then last night I had a realization. I am blessed with a future. I am blessed with the opportunity to grow up, something that is denied to many. This realization came to me after I watched a video about the devastating events that had happened this past weekend. I couldn’t believe myself for being ungrateful. I couldn’t believe I had the audacity to complain about doing “grown- up stuff” when I could be in a much more terrible situation. I hated the part of me that had done that. I hated that I had to wake up to the real world in these circumstances. I just… I couldn’t believe myself. At all.

At that point I started writing in my journal to rationalize my thoughts and feelings. I wrote down what I hated about what I was doing. I berated myself over and over again for thinking and feeling this way. Yet I knew this wasn’t enough or wasn’t going to do anything. So I started to pray. I started to apologize and ask for forgiveness for all the negativity I’ve been expressing the past few days. I started to pray for the guidance to be able to do what was productive and useful instead of straying down the wrong path. I continue to pray for all the victims of this past weekend – that they, and all their loved ones and friends, may find peace.

It’s just been a day since I had this realization. With the guidance of God, I started to change my perspective in life. I wanted- and I will- make each day count. While I do have all these plans set for my future destinations, I’ll just walk down that path, one day, one step at a time. I continue to pray each and every day for the guidance, courage and the willpower to do what is right – not just for me, but for everyone in this world.

Thank you for reading this 🙂

~little Purple.Mage

 

 

A fangirl’s perspective

HI :3

In addition to being an introvert, I’m also a fangirl. In its simplest definition, a fangirl/boy is someone who obsess over fictional characters. There are many other definitions that, believe me, ain’t pretty. We’re often portrayed as girls/ boys that squeal, giggle, and clap our hands in excitement or faint when we see the object/ person we obsess over. We’re often ridiculed for loving something that isn’t real or something that we will never have. We’re often seen as crazy for loving fictional characters/stuff so much that we have too many feels. And this is where the dam problem is.

Aight, lemme set something straight here people. *Rant mode activated*

First of all, we ain’t all about that image of us always squealing, giggling, daydreaming or fainting. Sure, our actions may seem strange when you see us obsessing about our favourite fandoms. We may be unable to complete sentences or speak so fast that you have trouble understanding what we’re trying to say. But that’s because we’re so overwhelmed with the information we have to process that it all becomes too much for us to handle. We may always be in our rooms, locked away for hours but that can be due to 3 things: 1) We are currently in the process of watching/ reading/ listening to our fandoms; 2) Our minds are in too much awe after experiencing their epicness that we just kinda sit there in silence for awhile and 3) We are hard at work on various projects: it could be fanart/ theories/ fanfiction/gifs or anything else.

Bottom line is: our passion is often mistaken for complete obsession and it is this passion that leads us to act the way we do and even inspires us to produce works.

Secondly, I don’t see why people aren’t allowed to love something/ someone without judgement just because the object of our affection isn’t real. So what if they’re fictional? These characters have a childhood, personalities, likes and dislikes and dreams just like any other person. And it may be due to this reason that within ourselves, us fangirls/boys see them as something more than a character on screen or on a page. Within us, the characters are brought to life and we have built a strong emotional bond with them especially after seeing them progress in their respective lives/ journeys.

Additionally, I know of a lot of  people who turn to reading/ watching/ listening in order to escape the cruelties of reality. Even I did the same. This is another way or reason why we have an emotional connection to these characters because it’s as if being with them through watching/ listening/ reading has helped us forget or even solve our real- life problems and we now hold these characters in a high and respected status.

And finally, how are we crazy for having too much feels over our fandoms? Other people with different passions such as those in sports/ fashion/ politics, etc. often have very passionate feelings over a certain topic and they talk and show it in public too. Now, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing because everyone has their own personal passions and interests. I also understand that the world is flawed and that there will always be someone out there to criticize people for their passion. However, I greatly respect people who do not judge other people’s interests since I know that there are many people who, in general, refuse to talk or even show emotions about their interests because they have been shot down about them before.

As my final message, I’d like to say that even after these struggles and after all this time, always will I be a fangirl.

~little Purple.Mage

PS to all my fellow fangirls/boys out there: if you’re hit with the feels, don’t cry, CRAFT!

What it means to matter

HI :3

I watched Hank Green’s video titled “Redefining What it Means to Matter” and I have to say, it struck something in me.

For the past few years I’ve been dealing with the question “do I really matter? Or do I just exist in this world?” It’s something that, although I’ve given a lot of thought on, my mind just goes in circles on. I’ve wondered to whom I matter to, what I can do to matter to anyone or anything, what I live for, etc. And I have to say, thinking this way has caused me more grief than finding actual answers. Watching Hank’s video gave me more perspectives on “What it Means to Matter”

Firstly, why do we want to matter anyway? As Hank said, humans crave meaning in their lives and to a certain extent, I agree with this. I guess it is just human nature to want to be able to have a place in this world or to be able to leave their mark in it. From my studies, we also looked at various motivational theories and several of them (such as Daniel Pink) mentioned that what drives humans nowadays is purpose. Because at the end of the day, if there isn’t any point in doing something, then why do it? Whether the purpose is directed towards yourself or others, it’s something that gives us direction or a path to work towards to in our lives.

Second, what does it actually mean to matter? Hank questions “when do we stop appreciating the work people do to make our lives better?” and my interpretation of this is, “when do we start taking things for granted?” (I’m not sure if this is exactly what he was trying to get us to think about when he posed the question but that is what I think of it.) Either way, it brings up the implication that, people must always keep achieving new things or goals in order to matter. In my opinion, this implication has been ingrained in us by society because we are bombarded with stories about others’ successes or fame and in order to matter, we must keep our own achievements up to par.

Now, I don’t agree with this implication because it also leads to the idea that people are never enough. And perhaps, this is where the constant questioning of “do I matter?” comes from. People have different perspectives of what it means to matter and sometimes, they measure the answer to this question against quantifiable things like, as Hank mentioned, fame and money. “If you have a certain amount of fame or money, then you matter this much”, which I do not agree with. And this isn’t something I actually want to argue about because it’s simply the opinion of others and I’m here to state my own.

After questioning my own purpose and watching this video, I realize that every single individual have their own answer to “what it means to matter”. For me, there different answers; a main one being: to make small differences in my life and others.

I’m the kind of person who usually puts others first before my own sake, especially if that person is someone who I care deeply about. I also started questioning myself about my purpose in one of the darker moments of my life which is why I now choose to make sure that I never go back to those areas, and I try my best not to let others go there either. I could do this by expressing my gratitude to them or complimenting them and I know that it may seem small but it has given my life a purpose. Ever since I started to appreciate the little things of other people, I started to do the same for myself.

It’s not the only thing that keeps me going in life but for now but it is very important to me. And it may not seem much at the moment, but if it could just somehow contribute to making mine and other people’s lives better then I’ll do it.

~little Purple.Mage

PS thank you for taking the time to read this, you’re awesome! 😀

#ProudToBeProud

HI :3

I’ve been seeing other bloggers do this tag for the past few days and I found out that it was started by Luna. I had a sudden urge to do this tag mainly because I’m currently in one of the most monumental points in my life. This tag also promotes self confidence and being proud and reflective of your own achievements.

Without further ado, here is my list of things that I am proud of:

• I just graduated high school
• I not only survived the IB, I did so with my fullest potential
• I was able to get accepted into the best program for me
• I was able to participate in 4 Robotics competitions without any prior experience in coding
• I am able to work on my blog and share my thoughts with the wonderful people on the internet
• I am able to be helpful, forgiving and loyal to my loved ones and friends
• I have a close relationship with God
• I am able to deal with my anxiety
• I am able to admit my mistakes and learn from them

And those are the achievements that I am most proud of. I hope that those who view this tag and other similar posts are also inspired to write their own post on it because there is no shame in being #ProudToBeProud.

~little Purple.Mage