HI :3
It’s that time of the year when students are going through their exams or have already done so (i.e. ME). My exams finished on the 20th and the past days have definitely been busy. I attended a lot of gatherings with my friends and teachers because it’s almost time to say goodbye to most of them. Then, on June 1st, we graduate.
Even though I have read many stories about people’s high school/ secondary graduation, it still hasn’t hit me how monumental this event will be. Maybe the idea of us graduating without even knowing whether we passed the IB or not (our results come out in July) is just weird for me; but the school arranged the graduation this early so that most of our year could attend. I’m actually quite relieved that they did, otherwise I don’t think I’ll be able to get another chance to properly say goodbye to all my friends and teachers.
Last month, I had most of my friends sign my book with messages or drawings. All of them made me smile and even some made me cry because I slowly came to realize that I won’t be able to see any of them that much, or maybe not even at all. But this is where I ask myself, is it really goodbye?
For the first half of my life, I moved around quite a lot, I never really stayed in one place for too long so I never got to make any close friends which I still keep in contact with. Because of this, I guess I just got used to saying goodbye to others and not having any life-long friends. That’s why I find it a miracle that I was actually able to stay in the same place and the same school this time for 7 years (2009- 2016). Now it’s kinda the opposite since people say goodbye to me but I’m also able to still keep in touch with them.
In all honesty, I find it hard to keep in touch with other people. I rarely talk to my friends who have moved away and the only person I keep in constant contact with is my best friend. I don’t want to say that “best friend” is a title because it’s more of an unsaid promise that was made after she left. And because of all the miles between us and the time difference, we don’t really talk everyday but when we do, it’s as if nothing has changed between us at all and that is our unsaid promise.
And knowing me, there are only 2-3 people I know I will be keeping in touch with for a long time. I prefer to keep it this way since they are the only ones I am fully comfortable with even though I sometimes have this irrational fear that they’ll forget about me. However, I try my hardest not to let these kinds of thoughts rule my mind because at the end of the day, it all comes down to my trust in them. While I have some trust issues due to stuff that happened in the past, I’ve come to trust my friends unconditionally after all we’ve been through and shared.
The people I now know as my closest friends have come into my life for a reason and for me, that reason is that they are a blessing. So, I don’t think this is really going to be goodbye, at least, I’d like to hope not
~little Purple.Mage
little Purple.Mage 