Is this goodbye?

HI :3

It’s that time of the year when students are going through their exams or have already done so (i.e. ME). My exams finished on the 20th and the past days have definitely been busy. I attended a lot of gatherings with my friends and teachers because it’s almost time to say goodbye to most of them. Then, on June 1st, we graduate.

Even though I have read many stories about people’s high school/ secondary graduation, it still hasn’t hit me how monumental this event will be. Maybe the idea of us graduating without even knowing whether we passed the IB or not (our results come out in July) is just weird for me; but the school arranged the graduation this early so that most of our year could attend. I’m actually quite relieved that they did, otherwise I don’t think I’ll be able to get another chance to properly say goodbye to all my friends and teachers.

Last month, I had most of my friends sign my book with messages or drawings. All of them made me smile and even some made me cry because I slowly came to realize that I won’t be able to see any of them that much, or maybe not even at all. But this is where I ask myself, is it really goodbye?

For the first half of my life, I moved around quite a lot, I never really stayed in one place for too long so I never got to make any close friends which I still keep in contact with. Because of this, I guess I just got used to saying goodbye to others and not having any life-long friends. That’s why I find it a miracle that I was actually able to stay in the same place and the same school this time for 7 years (2009- 2016). Now it’s kinda the opposite since people say goodbye to me but I’m also able to still keep in touch with them.

In all honesty, I find it hard to keep in touch with other people. I rarely talk to my friends who have moved away and the only person I keep in constant contact with is my best friend. I don’t want to say that “best friend” is a title because it’s more of an unsaid promise that was made after she left. And because of all the miles between us and the time difference, we don’t really talk everyday but when we do, it’s as if nothing has changed between us at all and that is our unsaid promise.

And knowing me, there are only 2-3 people I know I will be keeping in touch with for a long time. I prefer to keep it this way since they are the only ones I am fully comfortable with even though I sometimes have this irrational fear that they’ll forget about me. However, I try my hardest not to let these kinds of thoughts rule my mind because at the end of the day, it all comes down to my trust in them. While I have some trust issues due to stuff that happened in the past, I’ve come to trust my friends unconditionally after all we’ve been through and shared.

The people I now know as my closest friends have come into my life for a reason and for me, that reason is that they are a blessing. So, I don’t think this is really going to be goodbye, at least, I’d like to hope not

~little Purple.Mage

Nearly there!

HI :3

As of today, I am more than half – way done with my exams!!! WOOO!!! *insert raging dance moves here* Since I’m nearly finished with high school/ secondary in general, it got me thinking about what’s happened so far.

Over the last two years, I did (well, technically I am still doing it) the IB Diploma which is a really rigorous course that is meant to prepare you for university life. After all this time, I have to say that I have mixed feelings about the whole experience.

I’ve gone through numerous deadlines, countless nights filled with studying, practicing and writing papers all while trying to balance my own personal life. Despite all of that, I’m still glad that I did it. Through all of this, I was able to find out what I am capable of and improve myself in so many ways.

If someone asked me “what are your most prominent memories during the past two years?”, I would be immediately reminded of the more annoying times.

I remember there were so many times when I was paranoid of handing in my final work for fear that I unintentionally did something wrong and would ultimately get penalised for it. I remember so many instances when I sat listening to my friends complain about not having time for a social life (while I internally laughed and thought “what is this social life you speak of??”). I remember staring at my Physics notes the night before the exam, dumbstruck, because I could not for the life of me, understand why light diffracting had to be so complicated. I remember the stressful days leading up to a debate about Math where my team was for a seemingly impossible motion. I remember being so frustrated because my Chemistry experiment wouldn’t work out. I remember the state of my calendar during the start of my second year, full of red- inked deadlines which also marked the days when my sleep deprivation was at its maximum.

But thinking more deeply about the question, I realised that there was so much more buried behind those memories.

I remember that even though I would get paranoid, my parents, teachers and friends were there to reassure me that I had done the best that I could have and that there was no need for worry. I remember weekends where my friends and I were able to go out for a few blissful hours to just hang out and get away from all the work that burdened us. I remember those satisfying moments when I was finally able to understand something or get my experiment to work because I found solutions instead of whining about it. I remember the victory fist bump I did with my team when we won the Math debate after an exhausting hour of rebutting any opposition that came our way. I remember the relieved smile I had on my face every single time I crossed off a deadline, finally content that I was able to successfully complete and hand in my papers in due time. I remember and cherish these moments since they remind me that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction (there’s the nerd in me). I now know not to focus too much on the annoying times but instead remember that they served as a lesson to enable me to improve myself.

It has been an incredibly rough and difficult two years but every part was worth it which is why I thought of dedicating a post to capture my thoughts and feelings up to this point.

Peace out!

~little Purple.Mage

 

Adventure begin!

HI :3

Before I get into the main part of this post, I just want to say Happy Mother’s Day to the best(est) Mom out there!!!! (Mine obviously….)

 

Now I’m not sure if this is because of the soda I just had, but I’m feeling pretty hyper right now. And since is the first official adventure post of the little Purple.Mage, I figured I’d start it off on a high note :^D

As I said, I’m in such a great mood right now – almost to the point that I can’t think of what to do (even though I should be studying – Physics paper tomorrow!!!). Maybe it is the soda, maybe it’s something else. You see, recently I’ve been thinking about my plans for the coming weeks. My final exam is next week Friday and after that I’m FREE!!! So I guess I’m feeling really excited about what’s to come. You know that moment at the beginning of a game or series or book when you have no idea (well, maybe you have some idea) what adventures await or who you’ll meet and you feel really anxious yet excited at the same time? That’s something close to what I’m going through right now.

I have a lot of things planned such as: watching anime, eating, sleeping, catching up on some reading, playing video games… um, wait there’s more to that. But in all seriousness, while I appreciate the feeling of being able to look forward to something (since it doesn’t really come that often anymore) it’s also really important to me to savor the moments we’re living in right now. It’s something that I’ve come to learn since I’m about to close on the longest chapter of my life so far (high school) and I’m about to start on a brand new journey. I’m very grateful for all the lessons I’ve learned, joys and pains I’ve experienced and people that I’ve come to know about more deeply during the past years. And I’m even more grateful for having the opportunity of starting new.

Let the adventure begin!

The little Purple.Mage